One of the most important concepts I learned during my basketball playing career, was understanding my role on my respective teams. It was important for me to understand this concept because it taught me how to handle friendships, relationships, and partnerships in the workplace.
When I played basketball in high school, I was not the star player, in fact I never started but one game. I could have went to other high schools in Corona and been a starter. People may think that in order to play college basketball, you had to start for your high school team and be their best player, so they would transfer to a school where that would be possible. I knew going into my upperclassman years that I would not be a starter because of the guards I played with, which were Michael Caffey, point guard for Long Beach State, Gelaun Wheelwright, shooting guard for Cal Baptist University, and Dominique Dunning, small forward for UC Irvine.
So I accepted my role as the 6th man (first player off the bench) and I still had a dream of being on a college basketball team. I never lost the thought of, "knowing my role". I knew that if I showed I was a good team player and a good teammate, I would have a chance to fulfill that dream.
One 7am practice my senior year, Coach Steve Alford watched our practice and later that afternoon, my high school coach told me that UNM had offered me to walk-on (non-scholarship player). This was the best news I had received, knowing already I was qualified and accepted to be a student at UNM, this was a path I wanted to be on. I am sure my high school coach, Coach Josh Giles, said good things about me on how I handled myself on and off the court. Even though I wanted to start and I wanted to be a star player, I trusted Coach Giles that he would lead me to a great path after high school was over for me. Sure enough he led me to the greatest opportunity I could possibly imagine. And it all resulted to KNOWING MY ROLE.
When I got to college, I knew that I was going to have to work twice, three times as hard as the scholarship players. I still had to earn a spot on the team and I spent every single day giving my best to prove that I belonged. In the weight room, I always tried to lift more weight than my teammates. During conditioning drills, I tried to finish first. On the court, I played hard and tough, I never took a possession off because I did not want to give the coaches a reason to cut me. I made sure I did well in the classrooms, I even offered to help my teammates with their studies. I also made sure I was on time and never late to team functions, I would help my teammates be on time as well. During film sessions, I would study the other teams' point guard, because I knew in practice, I would have to be imitate that point guard to make the preparation better for my team. I would go work out on my own or I would stay late after practice to get better. Because even though I knew I was not going to play, I was going to do my best to help my teammates that did. My teammates wondered why I put in extra work, even though I was not playing, even though I was not on scholarship. And it motivated them to work extra as well. I would spend every possession in practice, wanting to make a play. Whether it would be getting an offensive rebound, a loose ball, a steal, etc. I knew that if I made those type of plays, the coaches would get on the other players to not let the walk-on player outwork the scholarship players.
This was a new role for me, but I was prepared for it. I always worked hard and gave it my all. I know that there are not too many people that would sign up for this role. As a matter of fact, I constantly had teammates ask me, "How do you do it? You work hard every day but you don't play."
It was a role I took because I knew it was going to help me handle other things in life.
With friendships, we see that we have different type of friends. What we must understand that as a friend, we play a role in that person's life. I know that my role in most of my friends' lives, is to give them a positive influence when they are feeling down. However, sometimes we think our roles in our friends' lives are bigger than what they are. Some people just need a friend and not anything more. Once you do establish a dependable and trustworthy friendship, then it may go to a deeper level of friendship. But I think what we need to prove to our friends, is that we are going to be there for them no matter what. You may call someone your best friend, but maybe you are not THEIR best friend. Those friendships can be healthy if both people understand that they play a different role in each others lives. Because like what we see in business, the people that are loyal and stick through tough times, eventually get promoted to be something more.
In relationships, we all know that things change when it comes to a social life. All of a sudden, the person we are with is supposed to be your everything and eventually your friends mean less to you. You may feel the need to be with your boyfriend/girlfriend more than your friends. Again, both the boyfriend and girlfriend need to understand the role they have. Friends are important, we all need them and we all are given friends, so we cannot let another person take that away from us. Both need to understand that they are a part of your life, not your whole life.
Happiness comes in all shapes and sizes; we can get a good job, our friends make us laugh, our family is there for us. When in a relationship, people can feel that they should make their significant other happy. Which is a right attitude, but realize that you are not the only source of happiness for that person, other people are going to make them happy as well. So just understand that while you are in a relationship, you are going to become important to the other person's life, but realize that there are still going to be other important people in their life. It al comes down to seeing others happy, even if someone else does it.
Now I am truly starting to get into a working environment, but again I feel I am prepared for it because I have always understood what my role is. Some of us go work for a company, and get bossed around. Most of us do not like getting bossed around, so we develop a bad attitude. But a part of understanding your role, working under someone is going to lead to that, so you have to learn to accept it if you want to get promoted. You may think your boss does not do things the right way, so you protest by not respecting him or her and breaking the rules. They are the boss for a reason, if you work hard enough, you can be the boss and be able to establish your own ideas on how to make the company better. Maybe you are told to do work that no one else has to do, this is mainly because you are new. But in order to earn your spot or job, you may have to do things that you do not want to do. I know that freshmen have to clean up the weight room or they have to carry the extra bags in the airport, that is all to earn your spot on the team. You respect the upperclassmen for their hard work and understand that they had to do the same as freshmen.
We are and we will, continue to have hard times in the workplace, one thing we cannot do is give up. Because maybe the day you decide to quit, is the same day your boss wants to promote you. If you respect your bosses, co-workers, and people who work under you; they will all speak highly of you whenever you need them to. In the workplace, many jobs are given based on recommendations and you never know who will be asked or who you will need.
Thank you for reading! Please give me any feedback you may have! Have a blessed day!
Chris Perez
Twitter: @C_P_2
Instagram: @cperez02
Facebook: Chris E Perez
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Who Am I?
I am sure you have asked yourself many times, "What am I doing with my life?" and I am sure this life is telling you that you need to grow up, and fast. But the best question to ask ourselves is, "Why am I here?"
"There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why." -William Barclay
Once we figure out why we are born, we must continue to stay true to that reason. We all have a dream or a passion that has grown in us since we were little kids. I was the kid in the backyard pretending to make the game winning shot for the Lakers in an NBA Finals game. I wanted to play in the NBA. No matter what people told me, I worked hard to achieve that dream because my passion for the game of basketball cannot be matched. Did I make it to the NBA? No but I made it to division I basketball, not bad right? I got to be apart of great learning experiences throughout my path to the NBA. Even though I fell short of my dream, I learned a lot about myself along the away.
After my basketball playing career ended, I looked back and reflected on who I became since I first picked up a basketball at the age of 4. One, I became a WINNER. I was apart of a lot of wins, since 5th grade up to college, I was apart of teams that did not accept losing. Loses hurt, they brought anger, brought tears, brought disappointment; to where I never wanted to lose and have those feelings. Two, I became a hard worker; not only on the court but off the court. If I wanted to play, I had to be smart. If I wanted to play, I had to prove every single practice, game, conditioning workout, weight lift workout; that I belonged. I don't know any other way, you ask me to do something, I will work hard for you. Three, I want to be the best...I want to be the best coach, the best follower, the best leader, the best motivator, the best worker, the best friend, the best boyfriend, the best husband, the best father, the best person. If you don't want to the best you can be, then what is the point? You should want to be the best at what you want to do.
So overall, I identify myself as a winner, a hard worker, and wanting to be the best.
It is up to you, identify yourself, because only YOU know yourself best. You cannot identify yourself based on other peoples' opinion. Be UNASHAMED of who you are! If you live a life based on "right or wrong" and NOT on "good or bad", you will be able to identify yourself through the right things you have done and the wrong things you have done. If you identify yourself on what you do good and what you do bad, you will tend to think the good makes up for the bad. Some people KNOWINGLY do bad things, and know it is wrong, but they think it is okay because they have done enough good. No one will do enough good to make up for wrong things. But people can do the right things and be forgiven of their mistakes. We are to learn from our mistakes, to where we don't make the same mistake twice. We are to live a life of righteousness, to where we continue to do the right things no matter what other people say!
I'm telling you...the best way to figure out what is right and what is wrong..is reading The Bible. Humans could not keep a standard so God set the standard. As long as you follow The Word, you don't have to worry about what others say about you. If someone tells you that you are doing something wrong, but according to The Word you are doing something right, ignore that someone. You are to follow a standard set by the Almighty God who gives you COMPLETE FREEDOM. If you follow His ways, He will set you free and give you eternal life. If you do the wrong things, you become a SLAVE to the devil. There is no in between, you are either a FREE MAN/WOMAN or a SLAVE. Freedom gives you life, slavery takes your life away. It's your choice...many of us do the wrong things, and many of us will continue to do so. But God loves EVERYONE so much, that He sent His only Son to die for those mistakes, die for those sins. He knows that we are born sinners, and He gives us a chance to be born again once we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, repent of our sins, then live in complete freedom FOREVER!
I promise you, you will have a better view of your life when you ask yourself the question, "What am I doing with my life?" If you have a Biblical worldview instead of a political worldview, you will better your identity. Don't worry about people liking you, if you do the right things, the RIGHT people will like you. Popularity is not a necessity, having people care for you and support you is what is necessary. Ask anyone, would you rather have people praise you and only be there for your good times, or would you rather have people in your life that will care and support you through thick and thin?
Apart of your identity, is to identify your true friends. Which ones are only there for you sometimes, and which ones are there for you all the time. Be caring and supportive to anyone that crosses your path, but make it a priority to be there for someone that is there for you. Because that is a friendship that can and will last a lifetime. We don't want to spend the rest of our lives with someone that we are just physically attracted to, we want to spend the rest of our lives with our best friend.
It has been awhile since my last post, so I want to remind readers that you do not have to believe in what I believe in. If this does not work for you, ignore it. But if it helps you, I am glad because that is my one and only intention. Never writing to hurt ANYONE, or else everything I write would be hypocritical. Please ask me any questions, I will do my best to answer them. Leave comments, feedback to me is very important, especially on things I need to do better. Also if you have any suggestions on future and potential topics, I am more than open to writing about things that you want me to talk about! Thanks for reading!
Chris Perez
"There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why." -William Barclay
Once we figure out why we are born, we must continue to stay true to that reason. We all have a dream or a passion that has grown in us since we were little kids. I was the kid in the backyard pretending to make the game winning shot for the Lakers in an NBA Finals game. I wanted to play in the NBA. No matter what people told me, I worked hard to achieve that dream because my passion for the game of basketball cannot be matched. Did I make it to the NBA? No but I made it to division I basketball, not bad right? I got to be apart of great learning experiences throughout my path to the NBA. Even though I fell short of my dream, I learned a lot about myself along the away.
After my basketball playing career ended, I looked back and reflected on who I became since I first picked up a basketball at the age of 4. One, I became a WINNER. I was apart of a lot of wins, since 5th grade up to college, I was apart of teams that did not accept losing. Loses hurt, they brought anger, brought tears, brought disappointment; to where I never wanted to lose and have those feelings. Two, I became a hard worker; not only on the court but off the court. If I wanted to play, I had to be smart. If I wanted to play, I had to prove every single practice, game, conditioning workout, weight lift workout; that I belonged. I don't know any other way, you ask me to do something, I will work hard for you. Three, I want to be the best...I want to be the best coach, the best follower, the best leader, the best motivator, the best worker, the best friend, the best boyfriend, the best husband, the best father, the best person. If you don't want to the best you can be, then what is the point? You should want to be the best at what you want to do.
So overall, I identify myself as a winner, a hard worker, and wanting to be the best.
It is up to you, identify yourself, because only YOU know yourself best. You cannot identify yourself based on other peoples' opinion. Be UNASHAMED of who you are! If you live a life based on "right or wrong" and NOT on "good or bad", you will be able to identify yourself through the right things you have done and the wrong things you have done. If you identify yourself on what you do good and what you do bad, you will tend to think the good makes up for the bad. Some people KNOWINGLY do bad things, and know it is wrong, but they think it is okay because they have done enough good. No one will do enough good to make up for wrong things. But people can do the right things and be forgiven of their mistakes. We are to learn from our mistakes, to where we don't make the same mistake twice. We are to live a life of righteousness, to where we continue to do the right things no matter what other people say!
I'm telling you...the best way to figure out what is right and what is wrong..is reading The Bible. Humans could not keep a standard so God set the standard. As long as you follow The Word, you don't have to worry about what others say about you. If someone tells you that you are doing something wrong, but according to The Word you are doing something right, ignore that someone. You are to follow a standard set by the Almighty God who gives you COMPLETE FREEDOM. If you follow His ways, He will set you free and give you eternal life. If you do the wrong things, you become a SLAVE to the devil. There is no in between, you are either a FREE MAN/WOMAN or a SLAVE. Freedom gives you life, slavery takes your life away. It's your choice...many of us do the wrong things, and many of us will continue to do so. But God loves EVERYONE so much, that He sent His only Son to die for those mistakes, die for those sins. He knows that we are born sinners, and He gives us a chance to be born again once we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, repent of our sins, then live in complete freedom FOREVER!
I promise you, you will have a better view of your life when you ask yourself the question, "What am I doing with my life?" If you have a Biblical worldview instead of a political worldview, you will better your identity. Don't worry about people liking you, if you do the right things, the RIGHT people will like you. Popularity is not a necessity, having people care for you and support you is what is necessary. Ask anyone, would you rather have people praise you and only be there for your good times, or would you rather have people in your life that will care and support you through thick and thin?
Apart of your identity, is to identify your true friends. Which ones are only there for you sometimes, and which ones are there for you all the time. Be caring and supportive to anyone that crosses your path, but make it a priority to be there for someone that is there for you. Because that is a friendship that can and will last a lifetime. We don't want to spend the rest of our lives with someone that we are just physically attracted to, we want to spend the rest of our lives with our best friend.
It has been awhile since my last post, so I want to remind readers that you do not have to believe in what I believe in. If this does not work for you, ignore it. But if it helps you, I am glad because that is my one and only intention. Never writing to hurt ANYONE, or else everything I write would be hypocritical. Please ask me any questions, I will do my best to answer them. Leave comments, feedback to me is very important, especially on things I need to do better. Also if you have any suggestions on future and potential topics, I am more than open to writing about things that you want me to talk about! Thanks for reading!
Chris Perez
Thursday, September 25, 2014
RE2PECT
In the world of sports, there are fans of players and teams. These fans bleed their teams colors and don't care for other teams, especially their rivals.
Derek Jeter, is one of the greatest athletes of all time. No matter what team you love or what players you root for, you must have RE2PECT for greatness.
Jeter has represented how an athlete should handle himself. He has worked so hard, day in and day out, to be the best he can possibly be. Even though he has many awards and has many World Series Championships, not one of these awards or championships stopped him from continuing on his path to greatness. A big thing that athletes should take away from Jeter's career, is that you should never settle for good, when you can be great. Don't just be average, if you are going to put your heart and passion into a game you love, get something out of it. Don't let anyone bring you down or dot let anything keep you up. Stay humble and stay hungry. No criticism and no compliment should stop you from achieving greatness.
Loyalty is a big thing that athletes struggle with, as do other people. When something goes wrong in high school, we want to give up the sport we love. In college, we don't like the situation and we want to transfer. In professional sports, it's all about who is going to pay me more instead of what is best for me as an athlete and person. Playing for the New York Yankees is not for everybody. That organization brings you in to perform at your best and win championships. In Derek's 20 year career, he has been the face of the 5 World Series they have won. Why? Because he performed at his best, not only sometimes, but all the time. He elevated his game when his team needed him most. He is first in almost every offensive category when it comes to playoff performance. Since Derek could handle pressure, handle success, and continue to be hungry for success, being a Yankee was the best position for him. And as you can see, the money takes care of itself. So there is no need to go after the biggest paycheck, if you are worth it, you will be on the team you need to be on and you will be rewarded.
In whatever we do, we must realize that we are not the best, but we must strive to be the best. If you don't want to be the best in what you do for a living, stop doing it, there is no point if you don't give your best or don't want to give your best. If you find something that you want to be great at, the blessings and rewards of life will come more than you could ever imagine.
Stay loyal to who you are, don't let anyone mess with your passion and goals. Don't let money get in the way of what you love. Do what you love and the money will come. You will be RE2PECTED and you will carry a legacy that will never die. Just like Michael Jordan, another one of the greatest athletes of all time, you will see Derek Jeter's highlights over and over and over again. He is going to leave a legacy that will touch on hearts all around the world. People will become better because of the example Derek has showed us. Thank you Derek Sanderson Jeter, for what you brought to me as a little boy and what you have placed in my heart. Which is a desire to always work and to always strive for greatness.
"If you are going to play at all, you're out to win. Baseball, board games, playing Jeopardy, I hate to lose."
"You gotta have fun. Regardless of how you look at it, we're playing a game. It's a business, it's our job, but I don't think you can do well unless you're having fun."
"Obviously, you're known for what you do. But you still want to be known as a good person. You're a person a lot longer before and after you're a professional athlete."
"There may be people who have more talent than you, but there's no excuse for anyone to work harder than you do - and I believe that."
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Simple vs. Complicated (Featuring Cleveland "Pancake" Thomas & Ebony Romero)
There are so many things in our lives and in our everyday situations that are identified as being simple or being complicated. There are times we catch ourselves trying to make things easier and there are times where we can make things harder on ourselves. Both methods can be good and can be bad in various ways.
In general, we go through stressful moments mainly because we tend to look at major situations in our lives that require a lot of thinking. It involves a lot of thoughts that do not necessarily need to be there. The lives we lead require a lot of decision making, and in those moments we get caught up in thinking what is right and what is wrong.
For simple thinking, this comes when we do not want to worry about something. We want everything to just fall into place and we assume it will. Simple thinking comes to us when we do not think about the consequences or the people we will hurt. It can also be caused based on emotion, from the range of happiness to anger. We can be so happy that we do not think twice on spending money for something we do not necessarily need. We can be so angry that we yell at a friend and you end up losing a friendship you needed. There are so many ways and examples that can be used. That is why I asked two other friends to help me write this post. I wanted to change it up a bit and show you perspectives of people I strongly associate with. Cleveland "Pancake" Thomas will write about, "Right versus Wrong" and Ebony Romero will write about, "How We Handle Relationships".
Cleveland "Pancake" Thomas: Right vs. Wrong
When I think of simplicity I think of doing the right thing and when I think of complexity I think of doing the wrong thing. It's only ONE way to do the right thing and there are so many ways to do the wrong thing. Not to mention, there are a lot of consequences that come with wrong decisions.
When you do the right thing or you make the right decision, you will see that life can be more simple and worry free. Right actions will lead to great benefits, but this does not necessarily mean that these benefits will come right away. Even when we do the right things, struggles and challenges can and will come with it. The benefits come when our right decisions pay off. We all have heard that hard work pays off, and hard work consists of struggling and facing challenges. Through this process, we must not complicate or question what we are doing if it is the right way. The people that become successful or are on the path to success, see struggles and challenges as apart of the process, hence the simple way to view your right decisions.
When you do the wrong thing or you make the wrong decision, things start to get more complicated and you start to question what is happening to you. Instead of benefits, wrong actions lead to consequences. We never know who we reach out to, whether it be in a positive or a negative way. So when do something negative or wrong, it usually means the people around us are going to be impacted in a negative way. From that, you will be negatively effected too in terms of networking and getting along with those people around you. You never know who is watching, people are quick to express their opinion when they see something bad happen. So getting into the wrong situations or making the wrong decisions can leave you with more problems than you already had.
Doing the right thing makes your struggles and challenges more simple and doing the wrong thing makes your struggles and challenges more complicated.
Ebony Romero: How We Handle Relationships
I think it can be a good and bad thing to take simple things and make them complicated and vice versa.
For example, the bad thing could be taking a good relationship we have with someone and complicating our thinking about that situation. This is where we think about that situation so much that we could begin to believe it is "too good to be true", rather than just seeing what you have for what it truly is.
On the opposite side of this concept, you could be in a bad relationship with someone where there is something negative happening that you should not tolerate (cheating, lying, etc.). So rather than seeing that it is NOT a good thing, we complicate the situation by trying to justify it. You think it is something good, when it reality, it is not.
I think this could relate a lot with overseeing our common sense. We do not trust in our initial instincts and most importantly, we do not trust in God 100% for particular things we go through. We tend to praise God for the good things and blame Him for the bad. When in reality, He blesses us with bad times so the good times are better. If you blame God, you complicate things.
We can be selective at times because maybe you have fear of losing something or someone. We try to manipulate or control the situation in order to get or keep something WE want. When in reality, we cannot control other people, we can only control what we do and the people will come and go in your life respectively. The RIGHT people will stay, the WRONG people will go.
Learning to trust God COMPLETELY can be struggling and challenging but you will get benefits and blessings. We want to lean on our own understandings that eventually lead to complicating things unnecessarily. Through right and wrong, simple and complicated, we can use the power of prayer to overcome these decisions we constantly have to make in order to lead to a successful life.
Let God reveal what he already had planned.
***
Great perspectives from both authors. Pancake really emphasizes that it is as simple as, what is right and what is wrong. Do the right thing leads to more simple and greater times, doing the wrong thing leads to more complicated and harder times. Regardless in both ways, you are going to struggle and face challenges.
Ebony is telling you that you do not need to worry about who is in and out of your life. You will be surrounded with support and the right people, if you have good intentions with your relationships. We want to hold on to certain people for certain reasons, but if you feel you are drifting apart and not getting along, then you probably are not meant to be associated with each other for the greater good of both of you.
It is important to have a source of hope, faith, and happiness. It could be any type of source, for me and the other authors, our source is the Bible. We figure out what is right and wrong through the teaches of the Bible. We have faith in God to where even when we go through bad times, we know it is refining us and we will see the greater good. We gain so much happiness with God because He provides the people that come and go in our life. Some leave for good reason, some stay for good reason, and we know that we are never alone because God is with us.
I know there are many sources of hope, faith, and happiness. However, whatever it is, you have to believe in that source 100%, or else you area going to complicate your life when it can be so much more simple.
Thanks for reading! I enjoy everyone's contribution to this cause. I think this is something that can be productive, not only for me, but for others that want to be impacted with a different perspective. Again, these are opinions and perspectives based on our own experiences. Everyone has there own way of doing things. My friends and I are just willing to share our perspective because we never know who it could effect!
Chris Perez
Cleveland "Pancake" Thomas
Ebony Romero
#YouServeHeProtects
In general, we go through stressful moments mainly because we tend to look at major situations in our lives that require a lot of thinking. It involves a lot of thoughts that do not necessarily need to be there. The lives we lead require a lot of decision making, and in those moments we get caught up in thinking what is right and what is wrong.
For simple thinking, this comes when we do not want to worry about something. We want everything to just fall into place and we assume it will. Simple thinking comes to us when we do not think about the consequences or the people we will hurt. It can also be caused based on emotion, from the range of happiness to anger. We can be so happy that we do not think twice on spending money for something we do not necessarily need. We can be so angry that we yell at a friend and you end up losing a friendship you needed. There are so many ways and examples that can be used. That is why I asked two other friends to help me write this post. I wanted to change it up a bit and show you perspectives of people I strongly associate with. Cleveland "Pancake" Thomas will write about, "Right versus Wrong" and Ebony Romero will write about, "How We Handle Relationships".
Cleveland "Pancake" Thomas: Right vs. Wrong
When I think of simplicity I think of doing the right thing and when I think of complexity I think of doing the wrong thing. It's only ONE way to do the right thing and there are so many ways to do the wrong thing. Not to mention, there are a lot of consequences that come with wrong decisions.
When you do the right thing or you make the right decision, you will see that life can be more simple and worry free. Right actions will lead to great benefits, but this does not necessarily mean that these benefits will come right away. Even when we do the right things, struggles and challenges can and will come with it. The benefits come when our right decisions pay off. We all have heard that hard work pays off, and hard work consists of struggling and facing challenges. Through this process, we must not complicate or question what we are doing if it is the right way. The people that become successful or are on the path to success, see struggles and challenges as apart of the process, hence the simple way to view your right decisions.
When you do the wrong thing or you make the wrong decision, things start to get more complicated and you start to question what is happening to you. Instead of benefits, wrong actions lead to consequences. We never know who we reach out to, whether it be in a positive or a negative way. So when do something negative or wrong, it usually means the people around us are going to be impacted in a negative way. From that, you will be negatively effected too in terms of networking and getting along with those people around you. You never know who is watching, people are quick to express their opinion when they see something bad happen. So getting into the wrong situations or making the wrong decisions can leave you with more problems than you already had.
Doing the right thing makes your struggles and challenges more simple and doing the wrong thing makes your struggles and challenges more complicated.
Ebony Romero: How We Handle Relationships
I think it can be a good and bad thing to take simple things and make them complicated and vice versa.
For example, the bad thing could be taking a good relationship we have with someone and complicating our thinking about that situation. This is where we think about that situation so much that we could begin to believe it is "too good to be true", rather than just seeing what you have for what it truly is.
On the opposite side of this concept, you could be in a bad relationship with someone where there is something negative happening that you should not tolerate (cheating, lying, etc.). So rather than seeing that it is NOT a good thing, we complicate the situation by trying to justify it. You think it is something good, when it reality, it is not.
I think this could relate a lot with overseeing our common sense. We do not trust in our initial instincts and most importantly, we do not trust in God 100% for particular things we go through. We tend to praise God for the good things and blame Him for the bad. When in reality, He blesses us with bad times so the good times are better. If you blame God, you complicate things.
We can be selective at times because maybe you have fear of losing something or someone. We try to manipulate or control the situation in order to get or keep something WE want. When in reality, we cannot control other people, we can only control what we do and the people will come and go in your life respectively. The RIGHT people will stay, the WRONG people will go.
Learning to trust God COMPLETELY can be struggling and challenging but you will get benefits and blessings. We want to lean on our own understandings that eventually lead to complicating things unnecessarily. Through right and wrong, simple and complicated, we can use the power of prayer to overcome these decisions we constantly have to make in order to lead to a successful life.
Let God reveal what he already had planned.
***
Great perspectives from both authors. Pancake really emphasizes that it is as simple as, what is right and what is wrong. Do the right thing leads to more simple and greater times, doing the wrong thing leads to more complicated and harder times. Regardless in both ways, you are going to struggle and face challenges.
Ebony is telling you that you do not need to worry about who is in and out of your life. You will be surrounded with support and the right people, if you have good intentions with your relationships. We want to hold on to certain people for certain reasons, but if you feel you are drifting apart and not getting along, then you probably are not meant to be associated with each other for the greater good of both of you.
It is important to have a source of hope, faith, and happiness. It could be any type of source, for me and the other authors, our source is the Bible. We figure out what is right and wrong through the teaches of the Bible. We have faith in God to where even when we go through bad times, we know it is refining us and we will see the greater good. We gain so much happiness with God because He provides the people that come and go in our life. Some leave for good reason, some stay for good reason, and we know that we are never alone because God is with us.
I know there are many sources of hope, faith, and happiness. However, whatever it is, you have to believe in that source 100%, or else you area going to complicate your life when it can be so much more simple.
Thanks for reading! I enjoy everyone's contribution to this cause. I think this is something that can be productive, not only for me, but for others that want to be impacted with a different perspective. Again, these are opinions and perspectives based on our own experiences. Everyone has there own way of doing things. My friends and I are just willing to share our perspective because we never know who it could effect!
Chris Perez
Cleveland "Pancake" Thomas
Ebony Romero
#YouServeHeProtects
Thursday, September 4, 2014
What's Love?
Love is something we all struggle to define and we all want it. Nothing satisfies us more than being loved. In anything you do, the worth of doing it is to be loved by someone along your life journey.
I saw this statement on Twitter a few weeks ago and immediately I wanted to challenge it. It's a statement that should be exercised, but some people don't follow this concept.
Here's the statement: "As long as you stay the same person I fell for, my feelings won't ever change."
Sometimes we catch ourselves wanting to be in a relationship with someone based on their status and/or popularity. We see someone have a lot of followers on Twitter and on Instagram, we see them getting retweeted, favorites, and likes and from that bases, we think they are WORTHY. And most of the time, that's a good correlation - a person's popularity on social media can lead to them being a good person, well liked, and attractive.
But what happens when you get into a relationship with this type of person? Now all of a sudden you can feel insecure, you see the many likes, you see the comments and you get angry or jealous that people are still liking their pictures.
Maybe the person you are with is kind hearted and willing to help others, so he/she goes and helps a friend in need. But you get jealous of that because it may lead to something more. Maybe the person you are with goes out and has fun but you get angry because they are having fun without you.
So sometimes if you stay the same person I fell for, then my feelings will change. So if you fall for someone, understand why you fell for them and be aware of the pros and cons. Know what you sign up for when you get into a relationship. If you can handle it, if your LOVE does not turn into JEALOUSY and ANGER, your mutual love will be everlasting.
Just a reminder, all my blogs are opinionated and not factual based. They are situational based. I have seen this happen to people and I have seen relationships turn out this way. I am not saying this has or will happen to you.
Having said that, I want to get into the qualities of love. There are many qualities but I tend to focus on 4 when it comes to love with my family and friends: Love is kind, love is patient, love is NOT jealous, love is NOT arrogant.
Being kind to someone is being happy and making them happy. If you are not happy with the person you "love", you don't have love. If you can't make that person you are with happy, then you don't have "love". I've learned that the biggest goal in a relationship, is to make sure I'm happy and make sure my girlfriend is happy. I was in a long distance relationship for my first 2 years of college. In October of my junior year, my girlfriend at the time called me wanting to break up. She told me she stressed out from worrying about me and wondering if I'm cheating on her and she just wasn't HAPPY. When she told me she wasn't happy, I left it at that, I left it with a clean break. Overall, I want someone to be happy, even if it is not with me. If I'm with someone, and they strongly feel they can be with someone better, who can make them happy, I encourage that. As we realize, sacrifice is involved in a lot things, and sacrifice is involved when pursuing happiness.
Being patient falls hand in hand with being slow to get angry. One thing I try to work on now is that I don't get mad at my friends. Even if I think they did something wrong, I am not one to judge that. What I do is I let my friends know how highly I think about them and the good qualities they have. From there, my ideal response from them is to live up to those qualities.
For example, I have been told that I am trustworthy and dependable. I've been told that I am unselfish, a good friend, a good coach. And I'm proud of these comments towards me. But I don't respond to them by thinking I've proven myself worthy. I got to keep proving these qualities everyday. If people think highly of me, I'm going to prove them right, not have them regret what they told me.
Another thing about patience is knowing that it will get better. Maybe you are in a rough patch but if you mutually love each other, it will get better. Be that person that truly loves someone no matter what and that you will help them through everything; the good, the bad, the ugly.
For me, I can't stand it when love turns into jealousy because that is not love at all. Jealousy is thee most UNNECESSARY emotion to have, we don't need it! We can remove jealousy out of our lives and live an improved life. Always look to encourage and support your loved ones when you have a desire to feel jealous. Turning your intended jealousy into encouragement and support, will go a long way.
Love is definitely not arrogant. When you love someone you don't look to please yourself first. You look to please the person you love and in exchange, they will so the same. There is no scoreboard, don't keep score on who does more for the other. The love between two people creates a team, and that team has two MVPs. If you only have one MVP, then the team chemistry will mess up to where it could lead to a break up.
Now I came up with this upcoming statement a few days ago and I'm sure the women are going to love this: Men can act as the devil of love.
Explanation of this, again it is situational not factual. So what a man can do in order to manipulate a woman, is to give a woman something they WANT or NEED.
So maybe a man buys you that purse you've always wanted, or those shoes you've been dying to have, or you're at a club and he buys your drinks. So what this guy turns into, is the guy that gets you want you want.
So you become attached to this man. And in order for the man to get what he wants, is to use the false (i.e. devil's) definition of LOVE. He tells you that he can promise a fulfilling life, he can buy you anything you want, he can tell you that you won't have to work another day in your life. And at first, it does sound promising. But what about that emptiness in your soul, where you had a passion. Maybe it was teaching, maybe it was becoming a lawyer, maybe it was helping others and changing lives. The man you are with took that away from you.
What if that man cheats on you? And you have no leverage because you gave up everything to be with them. So he feels he has power over you. Overall, men can get you to believe in false love to where your passions and morals and self respect go down the drain.
To finish, I want to quote a song that I encourage you all to listen to. It's called "Love" by Jaeson Ma featuring Bruno Mars
"Now Hollywood wants to make you think they know what love is. But I'm a tell you what true love is. Love is not what you see in movies. It's not the ecstasy, it's not what you see in that scene. You know what I mean? I'm telling you right now, true love is sacrifice. Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself. Love is selfless not selfish. Love is God and God is love. Love is when you lay down your life for another. Whether for your brother, your mother, your father or your sister. It's even laying down your life for your enemies. That's unthinkable, but think about that."
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Show Up and Work Hard
It's a simple concept that takes a lot of discipline. To have the habit of showing up and working hard, you can't be a quitter, you can't write your goals in pencil, you can't do things half-hearted. Once you have this habit, good things will come and it will be a lot easier as time goes on.
The first step is showing up. This means not being late and not doing it. Being on time is something that you should take pride in because it shows you are dependable and you are respectful. If I ask you to be somewhere at a certain time, I depend on you to show up at that time. For school, for jobs, for sports-being on time is crucial and it could make or break your career path.
A lot of times we don't even have the discipline of showing up. To where we blow off something completely. Doing this creates a habit. It takes a lot of discipline to get up and go to class. But once you miss one class, you start second guessing yourself to where you think it's okay to miss class.
You could also be on a strict workout plan and you decide to miss a day of training. Then again you start to second guess yourself, do I really need to workout? I think I'm happy with the way I look. Other people are more out of shape than I am. When in reality, you need to train your body physically so you can be healthy.
Working hard is the next step. You show up to do a job, and maybe you are thinking, "I'm just going to get through this day and get out." Maybe you are in class and think, "I'm just going to sit here and watch the clock tick down to when it is time to leave." Maybe you have practice and think, "I'm just going to go through the motions because I don't feel like working hard today."
Working hard, is a habit. In everything I do, I have to do work or play hard. I don't know any other way. When I play basketball, I could be playing the top athletes in the world or playing pick up games at a local gym, I'm still going to play hard. If you step on the court with me, you will get my all no matter who you are.
When you don't work hard, you feel more pressure. You cruise through your job and your boss gives you a big assignment. You feel pressured to do something because you can't handle it. You go through the motions in practice but the day a college coach comes in to watch you practice, you feel the pressure of performing well for this particular practice. You don't do the homework right or you copy from a friend, but then the test comes and you feel pressure because you have no one to help you do the test.
Tony Snell said it best, "When you work hard, you don't feel pressure."
Tony was a guy you constantly saw in the weight room, the film room, the training room, the basketball court, the study hall. Because he takes everything he does, seriously. He stepped up in big games because of how hard he works. The Chicago Bulls see that in him and see that he will have a successful career.
He doesn't have a secret formula, it's show up an work hard. The matter of the fact is, are you willing to do that? You see the living proof, showing up+working hard=success.
Thank you for reading and ANY feedback is much appreciated!
Chris Perez
You Serve He Protects
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Attention vs. Connection
This is a comparison that I thought of recently and I don't think people realize the difference between the two. The best way to explain these concepts is through examples. First I want to define what I think these two concepts mean.
Attention is something that we ALL try to gain. When we seek attention, we do not care who it is, we just want to put ourselves out there for the "world" to see. Sometimes we feel so lost in this world that we cry out for attention because we are so desperate for people to know we have needs. So in essence, trying to gain attention is a selfish act.
Making a connection means that you are trying to reach out to someone. It could be a friend, family, stranger, etc. To make a connection, you can have an idea you want to share with someone that will benefit them. You learn something and you want to share what you learn to help others. So for making a connection, it is an unselfish act.
Let's take the use of Snapchat for example. To interact with people on Snapchat, you can do two things: One is creating a snap story, this is where you post a picture(s) or a video(s) so that all of your snapchat friends can see. Your goal to make a snap story, isn't necessarily to interact with people, rather you want to show off what you are doing. You don't necessarily care who views or what others think, you just want show your snapchat friends what you are doing. In essence, trying to grab attention.
Another thing you can do on Snapchat is that you can send pictures and videos to a snapchat friend directly. Now with this feature, it is more personal. Maybe you saw something that reminded you of one of your snapchat friends, and you want to share with them. That is making a personal connection in order to share a laugh or make a conversation.
There are people in our lives that do things to hurt us. Maybe they are aware of hurting you or not, but usually when people seek to gain attention, they end up hurting others in the process.
There are people in our lives that will take the effort to reach out to us, asking what is wrong, invite us to do something with them, share knowledge or advice that we need. We feel a great level of connection with those people.
Rolls Royce and Bentley, do not have any commercials. The reason for that is they know the VALUE of their product. They don't need to waste money on advertising. People speak on behalf of these companies and they speak well of them, so based on word of mouth, they sell there products with great profit.
It's the same with humans, when we try to gain attention, we are advertising ourselves, saying "look at me, I'm the type of person you want to be and who you want to be around". And typically, we try to stay away from those type of people. Understand your VALUE, understand that your friends, your co-workers, teammates, coaches, family members, they are your advertisers. If you are good to the people around you, those people will spread the good word about you.
If you want to know your true value, take a step back and see what people think of you, the people that are close to you. If they don't think good of you, change that. If they do think good of you, don't change who are and don't try to sell yourself for something your not.
Don't worry about how many likes you get on Instagram, don't worry about subtweeting to grab someone's attention, don't send out a snap story to strictly show off. Be who you are and have a purpose for everything that you do. Don't sell yourself, let the people around you sell who you truly are.
Believe me, people want to be around someone that wants to make a true connection with them. If you look to help others, your selfish needs will take care of itself. You help someone, maybe they will reward you, maybe they will invite you somewhere, and that is how a healthy friendship develops. Is when two people care enough for each other to where they want to share knowledge, be a helping hand, and laugh in moments of happiness.
Be who you are, help others, and you will be taken care of. People will like you for YOU, not for what you are advertised to be.
Thank you for reading! I know it's been awhile since my last blog but I am getting back into it with a lot of stuff to share! Please comment, I am seeking for satisfying the purpose of this blog and most importantly, seeking all types of criticism
Chris Perez
#YouServeHeProtects
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